How to calm down and work through your anger

Furious. Annoyed. Enraged. Irate. Raging. Riled. Wrathful. All synonyms for a common human emotion: anger. While there's no avoiding anger from time to time, there are ways to work through it to prevent it from threatening your health.

• You don't even have to send it. Just the act of writing down your feelings will lighten the load of anger you've been carrying.
• If you want to resume your relationship with the person or people with whom you've been angry, however, do hit the send button.
• One major study found that when volunteers thought about a person they were angry with, their blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension leaped.
• But when they imagined themselves forgiving the other person – just imagined it – their blood pressure didn't rise nearly as much.

• True empathy means getting into another person's head and heart both to understand and feel that individual's experience.
• You can do this in numerous ways: by visualizing the situation through the other person's eyes; by writing a story from the other person's perspective of the situation; by telling the story to a friend but taking the other person's perspective.

• If you are angry with a politician, policy or some public injustice, do something about it.
• In one study, researchers tracked the brainwave patterns of students who had just been told the university was considering big tuition increases.
• They all exhibited brain patterns signifying anger, but signing a petition to block the increases seemed to provide satisfaction.
• Put simply, working to right a wrong is life-affirming and positive. Stewing in a bad situation without taking action has the opposite result.

• Think like a detective and track down clues about the kinds of situations, people and events that trigger your anger.
• Once you're aware of them, try to avoid them if possible. I
• f you can't avoid them, at least you'll know to anticipate them, which will give you more time to prepare for them so that they don't affect you so negatively.

• Displays of anger don't accomplish anything except to anger or intimidate others. It is not a disciplinary tool, a communication method or an emotional weapon.
• Anger is a damaging, personal, emotional state that is symptomatic of an underlying problem. So don't ever let yourself use anger as a threat – particularly with your children. Your anger should be your problem, not theirs.